When he was 29, Charles Darwin agonized about whether to marry. In 1838, he wrote down the pros and cons. He then wrote “Marry-Mary-Marry Q.E.D.” and, months later, that’s just what he did.
Children—(if it Please God)—Constant companion, (& friend in old age) who will feel interested in one,—object to be beloved & played with.—better than a dog anyhow.—Home, & someone to take care of house—Charms of music & female chit-chat.—These things good for one’s health—but terrible loss of time.—
Freedom to go where one liked—choice of Society & little of it.—Conversation of clever men at clubs—Not forced to visit relatives, & to bend in every trifle.—to have the expense & anxiety of children—perhaps quarelling—Loss of time.—cannot read in the Evenings—fatness & idleness—Anxiety & responsibility—less money for books &c.—if many children forced to gain one’s bread—(But then it is very bad for one’s health to work too much) Perhaps my wife won’t like London; then the sentence is banishment & degradation into indolent, idle fool.
My God, it is intolerable to think of spending one’s whole life, like a neuter bee, working, working & nothing after all.—No, no won’t do.—Imagine living all one’s day solitarily in smoky dirty London House.—Only picture to yourself a nice soft wife on a sofa with good fire, & books & music perhaps—Compare this vision with the dingy reality of Grt. Marlbro’ St
In one of his love letters to Emma Wedgwood, a week before they married, Darwin wrote, “I think you will humanize me, and soon teach me there is greater happiness, than building theories & accumulating facts in silence & solitude.” She did; they had an extraordinarily close relationship, one that ended up affecting his work in a substantive way, as his concerns and respect for Emma’s religious views tempered his claims about how evolution has shaped the human mind
When looking for a mate, Darwin was looking for more than bilateral symmetry and the right hip-waist ratio. He wanted a good and special person. You can read youth and health from the face and body, but one also looks for qualities like intelligence and kindness. Smart and kind people do well in the world, and so do their children. You also want someone who will faithfully take care of the children, and someone who will help and support you. It is not surprising that in the largest study ever of human mate preferences, looking at people in 37 cultures, the most important factor for both men and women is kindness.
din cartea How Pleasure Works – Paul Bloom. ( o am in ebook, multumesc Vicentiu. o pot deci da mai departe, e delicioasa).