shonda rhimesshonda rhimes

Ce am invatat din cartea uneia dintre cele mai influente femei din televiziune: Shonda Rhimes

Shonda Rhimes, doamna care sta in spatele unora dintre cele mai de succes seriale americane ale momentului: Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal si How to get away with murder.

Atat de succes incat practic detine ziua de joi la televiziunea ABC cu toate aceste seriale difuzate unul dupa altul.

Despre Rhimes s-a zis multa vreme ca e atat de afurisita si un fel de doamna de fier, incat nu are nimeni curaj sa vorbeasca cu ea. Nu zambeste in public, e total antisociala si nu e chiar cea mai simpatica persoana pe care sa vrei sa o ai alaturi.

In noiembrie Shonda a scos o carte, Year of Yes -How to Dance it Out, Stand in the Sun, and Be Your Own Person, in care a povestit lucruri nespuse din viata sa si lumea a inceput sa o vada si altfel, au inceput sa inteleaga de ce oamenii din echipa ei o iubesc atat de mult, desi admit ca e foarte bossy.

Cartea e o bucurie. E super amuzant scrisa (doar vorbim de una dintre cele mai de succes scenariste din lume), pare foarte relaxata ca forma de lectura dar livreaza multe adevaruri valabile nu doar in viata lui Rhimes ci a multor oameni.

Se numeste Year of Yes pentru ca e despre anul in care a luat decizia sa accepte tot ce i se propune, fiind cunoscuta ca refuza mai tot timpul orice.

Rhimes e o femeie foarte timida, o femeie care a fost obisnuita sa stea in pijamale acasa la ea si sa scrie pentru seriale. Cand a dat norocul peste ea si a inceput sa faca Grey’s Anatomy (un proiect pe care l-a creat de la zero), a fost nevoie sa iasa din pijamale si sa mearga la birou. Si-a iesit f mult din zona ei de confort.

Cind si-a angajat un publicist primul lui job a fost “sa nu apar niciodata in presa”.

This is who I am. Silent. Quiet. Interior. More comfortable with books than new situations. Content to live within my imagination. I’ve lived inside my head since I was a kid. My earliest memories are of sitting on the floor of the kitchen pantry. I stayed there for hours in the darkness and warmth, playing with a kingdom I created out of the canned goods.

Lucky for me, my parents held the unusual in high regard. And so when I wanted to play with the cans in the pantry for hours on end, my mother didn’t tell me to stop messing around with the food and go somewhere else to play. Instead, she declared it a sign of creativity, closed the pantry door and let me be. You have her to thank for my love of long-form serialized drama. (…)  I had a wonderful childhood, but I lived so deep in my imagination that I was happier and more at home in that pantry with the canned goods than I ever was with people. I felt safer in the pantry. Freer in that pantry. True when I was three years old. And somehow even more true at forty-three. As I sit on my sofa staring into the Christmas lights, I realize that I would still be partying in my pantry if I thought I could get away with it. If I didn’t have children who needed me to be in the world. I fight the instinct every day.

E un fragment in carte in care se vor recunoaste toate persoanele (femei sau barbati cu un program aglomerat), Rhimes vorbeste despre ce poate si ce nu poate face. (Ca sa aveti o imagine completa, are 3 copii acasa si o companie care are 600 de angajati – pentru ca acum produce aceste seriale si le da pe toate de-a gata televiziunii ABC care le difuzeaza)

And people are constantly asking me, how do you do it? And usually, they have this sort of admiring and amazed tone. Shonda, how do you do it all? Like I’m full of magical magic and wisdom and specialness. How do you do it all? And I usually just smile and say, “I’m really organized.” Or if I’m feeling slightly kind, I say, “I have a lot of help.” And those things are true. But they also aren’t true. (…) as a very successful woman, a single mother of three, who constantly gets asked the question “How do you do it all?” For once I am going to answer that question with 100 percent honesty here for you now. Because it’s just us. Because it’s our fireside chat. Because somebody has to tell you the truth. Shonda, how do you do it all? The answer is this: I don’t. Whenever you see me somewhere succeeding in one area of my life, that almost certainly means that I am failing in another area of my life.
If I am killing it on a Scandal script for work, I’m probably missing bath and story time at home. If I am at home sewing my kids’ Halloween costumes, I am probably blowing off a script I was supposed to rewrite. If I’m accepting a prestigious award, I’m missing my baby’s first swim lesson. If I am at my daughter’s debut in her school musical, I am missing Sandra Oh’s last scene ever being filmed at Grey’s Anatomy. If I am succeeding at one, I am inevitably failing at the other. That is the trade-off. That is the Faustian bargain one makes with the devil that comes with being a powerful working woman who is also a powerful mother. You never feel 100 percent okay, you never get your sea legs, you are always a little nauseous. Something is always lost. Something is always missing.

*

In carte Ronda marturiseste ca nu a acceptat niciodata nimic pentru ca e foarte timida si ca in anul in care a spus numai DA a avut mult de luptat cu ea, dar efectele au fost uluitoare: nu doar ca si-a facut mai multi prieteni, dar a si slabit fara sa tina diete speciale, a avut mai mult timp pentru copii, a devenit o sefa mai buna si mai calma.

Unul dintre primele Da pe care le-a zis a fost pentru un interviu in emisiunea lui Jimmy Kimmel si cum, practic, a murit de frica acolo. Inca ii mai multumeste lui Kimmel ca a vorbit el mai mult decat ea. Cum mai povesteste despre cat de speriata era si mai este de orice aparitie publica si cum isi inventa orice motiv doar ca sa nu mearga. Si cum si-a promis ca in serialele ei sa prezinte realitatea – de aceea e cea mai mare diversitate de personaje cu sexualitati diferite, rase diferite, probleme diferite,

Si mai povesteste de ce e responsabila sa nu minta in seriale: si-a petrecut toata copilaria incercind sa-si indrepte parul ca sa aiba o coafura ca a lui Whitney Huston, iar cind a intrat in industrie si-a dat seama ca, de fapt, cantareata purta peruca. I s-a parut atat de gresit ca echipa ei nu a comunicat asta si a lasat zeci de pustoaice de culoare sa spere ca vor avea un asemenea look, incit si-a promis ca ea nu-i va pacali pe telespectatori.

In cel mai recent serial al ei, How to get away with murder – Viola Davis (actrita de culoare) are de citeva ori secvente in care arata cum isi da peruca jos :)

Iata unul dintre fragmentele finale ale cartii

We all spend our lives kicking the crap out of ourselves for not being this way or that way, not having this thing or that thing, not being like this person or that person. For not living up to some standard we think applies across the board to all of us. We all spend our lives trying to follow the same path, live by the same rules. I think we believe that happiness lies in following the same list of rules. In being more like everyone else. That? Is wrong. There is no list of rules. There is one rule. The rule is: there are no rules. Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tells you to. Happiness comes from being who you actually are instead of who you think you are supposed to be. Being traditional is not traditional anymore. It’s funny that we still think of it that way. Normalize your lives, people. You don’t want a baby? Don’t have one. I don’t want to get married? I won’t. You want to live alone? Enjoy it. You want to love someone? Love someone. Don’t apologize. Don’t explain. Don’t ever feel less than. When you feel the need to apologize or explain who you are, it means the voice in your head is telling you the wrong story. Wipe the slate clean. And rewrite it. No fairy tales. Be your own narrator. And go for a happy ending. One foot in front of the other. You will make it.

Cartea nu a fost tradusa la noi, am cumparat-o in versiune Kindle de pe Amazon

year of yes

4 Comments Published

1 year ago / Reply

As vrea sa citesc cartea in romana. De ce nu o traduci chiar tu, draga Cristina?

1 year ago / Reply

pentru ca nu e treaba mea si nici nu am timp pt asta:)
o poti cumpara de pe amazon

1 year ago / Reply

Numai articolele tale reusesc sa ma emotioneze atat de mult… Doar o alta mama singura poate intelege exact cum se simte cand ai un business meeting sau un eveniment iar gandul iti este la copilul care iti simte lipsa…si tu lui. Este o perioada in care constientizez sensibilitatea acestei balante cariera/familie.

[…] Este un „truc” pe care Shonda Rhimes,  regizoarea serialului Grey’s Anatomy,  l-a aplicat timp de un an de zile. În filmulețul de mai jos povestește cum acest „DA” i-a schimbat viața. Ronda mărturiseşte că nu a acceptat niciodată nimic pentru că e foarte timidă şi că în anul în care a spus numai DA a avut mult de luptat cu ea, dar efectele au fost uluitoare: nu doar ca şi-a făcut mai mulţi prieteni, dar a şi slăbit fără să ţină diete speciale, a avut mai mult timp pentru copii, a devenit o şefă mai bună şi mai calmă. Recenzia cărții scrisă de ea, pe această temă,  o poți găsi aici: http://bazavan.ro/. […]

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